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Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage

Focus on the Family
195 episodesWeeklyUpdated Be the first to rate

Did you know the Hebrew root word for marriage is the same as mess? Okay, maybe not, but it wasn’t a stretch to believe, right? This is the podcast for Christian married couples who are in the middle of a messy moment. They need to laugh. They need clear, practical advice. And they need to hear from someone with an actual degree in this thing. Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley are those people. They have reached millions of couples through their counseling practices, books, events, and work at Focus on the Family.

Episodes

195

  1. · 56 minSecond Chances with Newsboy, John James

    Drs. Greg and Erin Smalley interview John James, former lead singer of Newsboys, about overcoming an abusive childhood, his father’s dramatic conversion that led their family to Jesus, and John’s ongoing healing from abandonment, insecurity, and regret. If you or someone you know has made mistakes, if you have secrets, or if you are constantly looking for validation through the things you do -- you'll get a lot from this discussion. The Smalleys then discuss practical strategies for dividing household “mental load,” addressing mismatched sexual desire, and answer a new mom’s question about a disengaged husband. Newsboy: My Story of Hope and Second Chances – A Rockstar’s Life Transformed by God’s Grace Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Speak With A Counselor

  2. · 56 minYour Marriage Is Your Kids' First Sex Ed Class

    Kids learn what love and intimacy look like long before anyone sits them down for the talk. Author John Fort, whose own childhood was marked by sexual abuse and years of silence, joins Greg and Erin Smalley to talk about how a marriage teaches children about sex, how spouses can share their sexual histories safely, when and how parents should start talking with their kids, and how a couple can heal intimacy after sexual trauma. Don't Stress Talking Sex by John Fort, for moms and dads who want confident conversations with their kids about sexhttps://linktw.in/fotf-marr-assessment?utm_content=20261102 Launch into the Teen Years, a video curriculum for starting these conversations long before adolescence The free Marriage Assessment shows you and your spouse where your marriage is strong and where it needs work Take the free Reactive Cycle Assessment to see which buttons get pushed in your conflicts Send Greg and Erin your question about your marriage Speak with a Christian counselor at Focus on the Family

  3. · 32 minUnderstanding Trust In Marriage

    Can your marriage survive a big storm? Join Dr.s Greg and Erin Smalley as they share intimate details about how they've learned to trust one another. Using the example of the La Jument lighthouse in Ushant, France, we'll learn how trust grows, what destroys trust, and how trust isn't a "once and for all" issue in marriage. Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage Marriage First Aid Kit Learn More About Hope Restored Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Speak With A Counselor

  4. · 39 minHealing From Infidelity Trauma

    Has your spouse cheated on you? Drs. Greg and Erin Smalley host a conversation on infidelity recovery, focusing on when betrayed spouses feel stuck or unmotivated to heal. Joining them is Pastor Brad Hambrick, author of “True Betrayal: Nine Steps to Processing Your Spouse’s Infidelity.” This conversation dives into true transparency, accountability, and assessing deeper relational problems beyond the affair. Even if you know someone who has gone through this experience, make sure you pick up Brad's book and share it as a gift! True Betrayal: 9 Steps for Processing Your Spouse's Infidelity Recovering From An Affair Article Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Speak With A Counselor

  5. · 49 minMen Embracing Chivalrous Marriages

    Drs. Greg and Erin Smalley welcome Pastor Seth Troutt, author of Authentic Masculinity, to discuss God’s design for masculinity in marriage and parenting, while contrasting it with “the manosphere” counterfeits. If you want to collaborate with your spouse, encourage and understand Biblical leadership, as well as cherish and nurture your life choice in new ways, Seth explains how men and women can work together and live as Godly examples. In a Q&A, we answer a wife's question on how to address a defensive husband. We'll also share how to create a family motto. Authentic Masculinity: Leaving Behind the Counterfeits for God’s Design Marriage Assessment Reactive Cycle Assessment Join Our Facebook Community Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Speak With A Counselor

  6. · 34 minYour Emotions Matter (Part 2 of 2)

    Dr. Erin and Dr. Greg Smalley continue their discussion with Debra Fileta about emotional awareness, warning against “spiritual bypassing” that skips hard feelings with spiritual phrases. We also talk about the impact of trauma as either muting emotions or creating hypervigilance and “false alarms.” Healing your emotions can happen. Listen to this conversation and honestly ask "Where am I in all of this?" Reach out to our counseling department if you need more help. Get the Book: Are You Really OK? Reactive Cycle Assessment Article on Healing Separation Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Speak With A Counselor Marriage Assessment Tool Marriage Health In America Study Check Out Hope Restored

  7. · 50 minYour Emotions Matter (Part 1 of 2)

    Do you prioritize spiritual health while neglecting emotional health? Have you intentionally aligned with the Holy Spirit when it comes to your feelings? Drs. Erin and Greg Smalley discuss cultural stigmas around expressing emotions with Debra Fileta, author of Are You Really Okay? They outline conversational levels, how to check in with your spouse, and what NOT to talk about on date nights. The listener Q&A involves a stressed out wife who hasn't set clear boundaries. This is just the beginning of this important conversation. Get the Book: Are You Really OK? Reactive Cycle Assessment Article on Healing Separation Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Speak With A Counselor Marriage Assessment Tool Marriage Health In America Study Check Out Hope Restored.

  8. · 58 minMarriage: The Creation of Us

    Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley interview Pastor Kevin A. Thompson about his book The Creation of Us. Kevin emphasizes that marriage is its own entity where both spouses maintain individuality while building shared rhythms, mission, and unity. We talk about good dependence versus independence or enmeshment, how marriage reveals and can help heal attachment wounds, and “marital attention deficit.” We'll outline the phases of marriage and we answer a listener question about weaponizing sex. The Creation of Us: How To Build A Great Marriage Without Losing Yourself Marriage Assessment Tool Reactive Cycle Tool Love Styles: Why You Love The Way You Do (And How to Change It) Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Speak With A Counselor Marriage Health In America Study Check Out Hope Restored.

  9. · 42 minThe Manosphere (Part 2 of 2)

    We're continuing our discussion of the “manosphere,” reviewing how it distorts headship and submission and focusing on three additional lies: that emotional vulnerability is weakness, that women are biologically untrustworthy, and that a wife’s body belongs to her husband. Greg and Erin contrast these ideologies with scriptures calling husbands to sacrificially love, cherish, nourish, honor, and create safety so a wife can flourish. We'd love to hear your thoughts on these episodes, so click on the show notes to get in touch with us. Bearded Gospel Men: The Epic Quest for Manliness & Godliness What Is Biblical Leadership Articl Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music! Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Speak With A Counselor

  10. · 34 minThe Manosphere (Part 1 of 2)

    Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley discuss the Manosphere and the “Christian Manosphere." This is a program that you want to share with all the men in your life. Greg shares research from months of reading forums and explains the first three of six lies that many men are believing. We also go into what submission means for women. Part two is coming up next week, and we can't wait to hear your thoughts after listening to these programs. Bearded Gospel Men: The Epic Quest for Manliness & Godliness Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music! Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Speak With A Counselor

  11. · 56 minLaying the Foundation for Your Legacy

    Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley discuss what it means to leave a marital legacy by building a healthy foundation -- with intentional core values -- rather than living by default. Guest Lain McCanless of Rally Your Family describes practical tools to guide decisions, unify spouses, and model faithfulness across generations.This is something you can start today! Then, Greg and Erin share how they fashioned their family crest, and they encourage you try this exercise with your family. Plus, they answer a listener question about leaving a husband who has pawned family heirlooms. Finishing Well: Biblical Lessons to Maximize Your Later Years Join The Focus On The Family Strengthening Marriages Facebook Group Here's Information on a Healing Separation Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music! Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email The "Be" List

  12. · 54 minDon't Let the Weight of the Past Crush Your Marriage

    Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley are joined by Bob Lepine to discuss how guilt, shame, and past wounds affect marriage. If unresolved hurts are triggering conflict in your relationship, listen to this episode and then share it with your spouse. We also talk about building a healthy sexual relationship and adjusting unrealistic expectations shaped by culture. You'll learn how self-regulate when you go into fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses, too. Plus, we answer a listener question about how to move forward when someone's medical treatment has changed them. Building A Stronger Marriage: The Path To Oneness Hope Restored Conflict Style Quiz Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Speak With A Counselor

  13. · 55 minAdaptability in Marriage

    Does it feel like your life is being interrupted? Financial issues, health concerns, and disagreements with family members can all throw a wrench into our plans. Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley talk with Julie Plagens, who describes common interruptions in her life. We address the need for control, people-pleasing, and messages from how a strict faith background fueled anger and unforgiveness. Greg and Erin also talk about benefits of spending time outdoors together, and they answer a listener about chronic blame in marriage. This is a "meat & potatoes" episode we know you'll enjoy. Marriage Interrupted: How to Deal with Unexpected Conflict as a Couple and Stay in Love Hope Restored Conflict Style Quiz Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Speak With A Counselor

  14. · 58 minAffair Prevention & Recovery

    Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley focus on infidelity with Brad and Tami Miller. They discuss how couples drift through busyness, unmet emotional needs, validation-seeking, social media connections, and contrast emotional vs. physical affairs. They also have helpful ideas for couples to avoid the "chore war" and they tackle a listener question about a wife who seems to weaponize the mistakes her husband made in the past. If you know someone who has experienced infidelity, share this link with them! Anatomy of An Affair Join Our Facebook Group! Hope Restored Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music! Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Speak With A Counselor

  15. · 56 minSupport For An InterFaith Marriage

    You're really going to be blessed by this program, even if you and your spouse share the same faith. Greg and Erin talk with David McIver, author of Looking For The One. David teaches that loving a spiritually different spouse means seeing them through Jesus’ eyes and praying about where the trust was first broken rather than focusing on behavior. Greg and Erin also talk about a couple that have been married for 84 years, and they answer a listener question about inter-faith marriage and children. Looking For The One: Stories of Seeing The Lost, Lonely, and Broken Through The Eyes of Jesus Avoiding Marriage Pitfalls Find ALL of the Focus On The Family Podcast! Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music! Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Speak With A Counselor

  16. · 42 minRapid Fire Q & A

    Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley host a rapid-fire episode answering common marriage questions from both a husband and a wife perspective - with timed responses! They discuss whether spouses should check in when apart, address hidden purchases as “financial infidelity,” evaluate location sharing and phone/social media access, and other common questions couples have. Ultimately, this is to help you and your spouse discuss what must be shared to maintain security, especially after betrayal, and how to respond without weaponizing. The Reactive Cycle Assessment Hope Restored Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music! Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Speak With A Counselor

  17. · 39 minMarrying Into Madness - Dealing with In-laws

    How is your relationship with your in-laws? Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley discuss what research and experience reveals about in-law relationships, prompted by Erin being asked to speak to a moms group. If conflict, enabling behavior, and parenting disagreements with in-laws seem to take away the PEACE in your family - this is the podcast for you! Make sure you forward the link to other members of your family, too! Married Into The Family Article: How Your Relationship with Your In-Laws Impacts Your Marriage Call Our Free Counseling Line at 1800-A-FAMILY Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music! Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email

  18. · 54 minAnger Triggers in Marriage

    Do differences between you and your spouse trigger tension in your marriage? Greg and Erin talk with Amber Lia and offer tips to respond well and explore how miscommunication fuels anger. They discuss common conflict points like “chore wars,” the invisible mental load, and backseat driving, while emphasizing teamwork, communication, and going the extra mile. They also encourage you and your spouse to take the personality test, and they answer a listener's question about living with a depressed spouse. Marriage Triggers: Exchanging Spouses' Angry Reactions for Gentile Biblical Responses UnTriggered: 60 Days of Transformation for Moms Who Struggle With Anger Reactive Cycle Tool Hope Restored Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Take The Animal Personality Test How To Give Your Spouse Constructive Feedback

  19. · 57 minSparking the Marriage Fires, Pt. 2

    Get ready for Part Two of how to spark the fire in your marriage! Want to make your spouse feel special? Todd and Carolyn Petka share the "rocket fuel” for thriving marriages, and describe obstacles like unrealistic expectations, busy lives without margin, conflict styles, and family-of-origin wounds, that naturally leak energy and require intentional refueling. We'll look at the animal kingdom to help you understand your personality, and we have a listener Q & A about how to manage a family when your health is struggling. The Relationship Rocket Formula Hope Restored Check Out The Reactive Cycle Assessment Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music! Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Contact the show! Send Us A Review! Support the show! If you enjoyed listening to the Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage podcast with Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley, please give us your feedback.

  20. · 53 minSparking the Marriage Fires, Pt. 1

    Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley speak with Pastors Todd and Carolyn Petkau about their Relationship Rocket Formula, comparing marriage to a rocket needing navigation, fuel, and spark! They encourage looking into Scritpture, deep “fuel and spark” questions, and creating safety through active listening and saying, “tell me more.” Greg and Erin also apply ideas to TV couples, then answer a listener question about overwhelm, grief, and criticism. This is a program for EVERY marriage. The Relationship Rocket Formula Hope Restored Check Out The Reactive Cycle Assessment Enjoying music together can draw you closer as a couple. Check out Focus Live, powered by Godcaster. It’s a great way to get Focus On The Family content and hear contemporary Christian worship music! Ask Us Your Question via Voicemail or Email Contact the show! Send Us A Review! Support the show! If you enjoyed listening to the Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage podcast with Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley, please give us your feedback.