You Want to Trust Again…But Your Body Won’t Let You | Dr. Alison Cook

Together, Toni and Alison explore attachment wounds, trauma, control, nervous-system responses, relationships, faith and what it actually looks like to become secure from the inside out.

Toni vulnerably shares about experiencing sexual abuse at 13 years old and how the lack of safety surrounding that experience shaped her relationship with control, men and her own body for years afterward.

Alison explains why the parts of us that become controlling, perfectionistic, avoidant, hyper-independent or people-pleasing are often not trying to hurt us.

They’re trying to protect us.

The strategies may no longer be helpful—but shame isn’t the answer.

Curiosity, compassion, healing and connection are.

They also unpack what attachment actually means and why experiences of love, safety and trust are often encoded in our bodies long before we have language for them.

But our childhood experiences are not the end of the story.

Alison introduces the concept of earned security—the reality that adults can learn secure attachment through healthy relationships, self-awareness, connection with God and experiences of rupture and repair.

Toni also shares a recent dating experience that revealed something deeply healing: trusting yourself might sometimes mean recognizing that you’re simply not ready yet.

And instead of shaming that reality, you can honor it.

The conversation even explores the relationship between play and safety—why being able to rest, laugh, dance or enjoy life without producing something may reveal that our bodies finally feel safe enough to let go.

If you have experienced betrayal, struggle to trust people, feel overly controlling, constantly work to feel safe, or wonder why your body reacts so strongly even when your mind knows you’re okay, this episode is for you.

Grab Dr. Alison Cook’s new book The Secure Soul through this link: https://link.amazon/B094oHUMJ

And if the Still Coloring Podcast has encouraged you, consider supporting Toni through the donation link in the show notes as she continues building the show while raising her kids as a single mom.

Watch the full episode on YouTube.com/@tonijcollier and share it with someone learning how to feel safe again.

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